Post by Danielle on Apr 17, 2005 10:13:07 GMT -5
Pre Wedding Anxiety for Aragorn
Disclaimer: I do not own Aragorn, Arwen or any other of Tolkien's charecters. They all belong to Tolkien Enterprises. I only own Erlana and Bregon...*pouts*
[glow=red,2,300]Warning: If you do not like humor in any way at all, then promptly leave this peice of FanFiction, and don't come a-screamin' at me[/glow]
Onward...
Aragorn paced madly down the hall with a surly yet nervous look on his face. It was already one month since his coronation and there were only five days till his wedding with Arwen.
He entered a big hall with a long table in the middle of it. There was an odd assortment of people (elves, hobbits, dwarfs and fairies) seated at the kiddie table.
At the table where Aragorn was to sit there was: (right side front to back) a ring bearer and his gardener, two drunk hobbits calling them selves “Merry” and “Pippin”, a set of noldor prince twins, and a prince of Mirkwood.
On the left side there was (front to back) a steward/prince of Ithilien, a baby yeti which possibly could be a dwarf named “Gimli”, a old man that looked like he had an accident with some bleach, and two half dark elves currently babbling away with the prince of Mirkwood.
“Faramir mate, why is there a kiddie table?” asked Aragorn
“Dunno I think Merry or Pip did it.” Said Faramir
“And who are those two.” Aragorn said pointing to the two dark elves.
“Errrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Their friends of Eowyn and mine.”<br>“What are their names?”<br>“The female one has many names but Eowyn and I just call her by her Gondorinan name.”<br>“What is that?”<br>“Erlana.”<br>“ What about the other one?”
“Oh, that’s Bregon. Don’t stay around him too much. They say he was born grumpy and he will end Grumpy.”<br>“Ah. I see.” Aragorn looked at Bregon. He currently had a vulture sitting on his left shoulder and a mini Sauron dancing a waltz with a spider on top of his head. Aragorn made a mental note to not stay around that one.
“Hello!” said a blond hairy man stepping into the room.
“EOMER!” Aragorn exclaimed
“ARAGORN!” Eomer exclaimed. They squeezed each others shoulder in a very special way. Eomer continued:
“I am so glad to see you all!”
Merry and Pippin cheered with drunken enthusiasm. Eomer looked to Faramir.
“And not so much others.” Eomer said through gritted teeth.
“Eomer.” Said Faramir
“Faramir.” Said Eomer. Aragorn could see the fires growing between them.
“Bloody humans.” Said Bregon. He sulked and stomped off.
“Eomer why don’t you sit beside Erlana.” Aragorn said nourvesley while he shoved Eomer down to the last seat at the table.
“Who are you?” asked Erlana
“Uhhhhh. I’m King Aragorn of Gondor and Aranor. And this is king Eomer of the mark.” Said Aragorn.
“Hi!” said Eomer
“Hi!” said Erlana.
“Eomer is going to be sitting beside you.” Said Aragorn. Eomer sat down with out complaint. Aragorn walked up to the head of the table. Aragorn started his speech.
“Attention everyone! Come on listen to me were starting!” Everybody at the table turned quiet (except for Merry and Pip who were now singing U can’t touch this by M.C. Hammer)
“Merry, Pip shut up!”<br>“Huh?”<br>“Ah think he wantsh ush to shut up.”<br>“Oh shure. Jusht a shec.” Merry finished off the song with a final can’t touch thish.
“Okay. Now I want to tell you all why I called you for such an important notice.” Said Aragorn. There was a pause of dramatic effect.
“Och! Shoot we can take it!” said Gimli
“Okay. Mutton or Grouse?” said Aragorn
“What?” said Legolas
“Mutton or Grouse? You know to eat.”
“Ummmmmmmm…” Said Elladan
“Do you not know what the bloody question is?”<br>Elladan nodded.
“So is that a ‘You are really stupid for asking us that’ answer of a thinking answer?”
Elladan got some wary looks from around the table. He answered in the sanest response he could muster.
“Much to your liking, King Elassar, It was a thinking answer.”
“Okay, good!”<br>Every one visibly relaxed.
“Now Mutton or Grouse?”
“Aragorn I think your going out of focus. It’s five days till’ your wedding and your asking us for something to eat? You haven’t even decided weather to have your wedding in the throne room or the court.” Said Faramir
“Well you know how it is. Us kings have to make decisions. Right Eomer?”<br>“I haven’t even been crowned yet.”<br>“d**n. Well I have been busy.”<br>“The only decisions you have made yet for Gondor are if you can open that black smith with the safe water supply in the lower circle or not.” Legolas said.
“And that’s pretty tough you know.”<br>“Never mind.”<br>“So Mutton or Grouse? By show of hands.”<br>All he got were blank stares.
“So who’s up for Mutton?” Gimli and Eomer were the only ones who put their hands up.
“And Grouse?” Nobody put their hand up.
“I guess its Mutton then. Now court or throne room?”<br>“Och! Ye and Arwen kin decide that. Ahm goin’ te find some food.” Said Gimli.
With that everybody left. Merry, Pippin and Gandalf were the only ones left.
“We never got to express our opinions.” Piped up Merry.
Aragorn sighed. “What is to your liking, master hobbits?”
“Weeeeell, think of this: four hobbits + a lot of Rohirrim + all of Gondor = a riot without the most holy food!” said Pippin
“What is that?” Aragorn asked.
“Kebabs!” chirped Merry
“OUT. NOW!” Elrond said barging into their conversation. As per usual, he was wearing his “Naturally Nine” robes (Ode to Miss. Camilla Sandman) in a bright Urple. Merry and Pippin ran out screaming: ‘Bloody Urple Murder!’ over and over.
“Durned hobbits” Elrond said.
Aragorn looked over to Gandalf who now was sporting a pair of sunglasses.
“Versace.” Gandalf said.
At that point Aragorn knew that it was going to be a long five days.
There is more to come!
